Graduation: the scary prospect

So, here we go again. In the next few weeks, I will be done with my degree. And yes, this means that I am about to graduate. Even more, this means that I am about to change lives once again. I've done this so many times in my life, it should have been a fairly unoticeable habit by now but it is not.
In fact, is is a scary prospect. Many questions arise, and most of them have no answers...YET. And, that's the trouble. I am a scientist (academically), and a very analytical person.
When a question appears to my mind, it needs an answer. And if I get no answer, there is trouble.

As a matter of fact, I am pretty sure that the fear of change is what has been keeping me awake at insane hours lately. Even worse, I believe I am now suffering for insomnia. And to give a weird outlook to the whole thing, these days, I have been waking up (no matter what time I sleep) at either 2.52 Am or 5.25 Am, on the dot. Notice anything weird about those numbers? Yeah, me too. And that is highly disturbing.

Let's talk about change. As I wrote 2 paragraphs earlier, I am about to graduate in just a few weeks. Although, I thrive in dynamic environments, I like it when major events of my life are well-planned. Most of the time, I make that happen. Sometimes, no matter how hard I try, I just cannot. First, let's examine the obvious alternatives that I believe I've gotten:

1. Keep on doing what I've done best for the past few years and start right away with my Graduate Studies.


2. Get a job for a while and then get back to my Graduate Studies.


3. ...

Case 1: Graduate Studies
Oh boy! Trust me, there is nothing that I would love to do more than this. For a majority of people, the usual after they're done with their first degree is to leave the academic life behind, and move on to "better things". Those "things" would encompass such ideas as "a job", "a car", "a stable relationship", "a family" and a whole bunch of other societal norms. This is fine, but this is not really the type of life that suits me. It's too "normal", too "predictable" and not fun enough. Let me explain:
there are not many jobs out there that one can get and still have the free will of being as inventive and creative as one can be in the academic world. One thing that I have learned is that in the academic world, more often than not, there is always an ear to listen to your ideas, there is always a few pairs of eyes interested in what you want to demonstrate and there is most often another person correlating your ideas. In the academic world, the most extravagant ideas often have an audience. This does not happen in the typical work environment where the only thing that everyone worries about is the bottom line. This is not to say that businesses aren't right to worry about it. But as a software engineer, and as an engineer in general who have seen lots of amazing things and at the same time lots of mediocrity, I believe that there is a need to sometime stop, think and then bring out the best in everything that I do.
I have often been accused by my peers of being a perfectionist. I don't know how true this is. But I sure do believe that software engineering is an art, a craft and that should be well executed to the best it can be. The cool thing is, I have lots of ideas of how this could be done. And I need a chance to expose those ideas, not just to an audience that is going to keep it to themselves (closed-environment) but rather to an audience that is going to expose those ideas, discuss them further and help me and the community out there to make them better. I believe only the academic world would give me such an opportunity. Yeah, there might be a few other places, in the business environment that would give me such opportunity too. I will discuss those soon.

But talking about the academic world, that is not all. I mean, it is not just because I want to expose my ideas that I want to stay in. It is also because it's probably the only place you can get to learn a million things that you would have never known (at least systematically) in the business world. Finally, the academic world has changed a lot from what it used to be decades ago to what it is now: solutions, inventions are not made without thinking about the human (social, economical, technological, etc...) aspects.

So, you've guessed it. I am the academic type. Whatever you, the reader have decided it means. In the end, the fact of the matter is that I cannot afford to stay in the academic world anymore. It costs quite a lot in terms of personal finance. And this saddens me a lot. I have started writing research proposals for my master degree and will soon start the process of applying for a scholarship. Having been a top student in my field for the past few terms, obtaining a scholarship shouldn't be a problem. But then again, it's a matter of luck. Will lady luck be with me? I'll live to see. Which takes me to the next topic...

Case 2: Get a Job, Save Save Save, Pay for Graduate Studies
So, case 2 is roughly my solution to the cash flow problem. Besides the academics, I have quite a few years of experience building software and mostly web-based applications. I also have a full grasp of most of the latest technologies out there and I am fully fluent in languages such as Java, PHP, Ruby, Python and as far as platforms are concerned, I've played around with a few from Desktop to the Web to the Mobile environment and most recently back to the desktop with RIA platforms such as Adobe AIR. Weeewwh, that was a mouthful, wasn't it? So I figured, with all the knowledge and experience that I have gathered over the years, why not do something smart such as... well... getting a job? Then I'd save enough to start paying for my graduate
studies. And based on that thought, I started doing what every job seeker does:

• First and foremost, I uploaded my details, profiles, resumes (CVs), and all that is required to a good number of world-recognized and frequently visited by employers job portals. Stats-wise, I have had lots of views, even some employers contacted me and I even got a few phone calls. However, due to the fact that I will not be available till November due to my degree, I had to decline most offers. Well, OK, I did not literarily decline them. But I had to warn them about my availability. So, maybe some of them will call me back around that time, but I am sure I will not hear from the majority of them anymore. So, on this front, all I can say is that I am hopeful. We will see what happens.
  



• Strategy number 2: apply for jobs at specifics companies I would love to get work at. If you haven't guessed by now already, well... I am specifically talking about Google Inc. and Yahoo! Inc. Why would I love to work with them? Simple, they're working on some of the most exciting aspects of the Web right now. Each of them is doing it in a different way, that's for sure but I am sure there's room for a Me in there, right? So, I applied for a few of their graduate jobs. I have not yet heard from them. I don't know if I will. Whatever the case, and however it turns out in the end, it did not cost me a thing to try and so I did.
  



• Strategy number 3: still looking for a job. My definition of a job is very simple. Yet it's got some specifics: a job has to be enjoyable, challenging and no matter what, offer the possibility to be creative, inventive and more important than anything else, allow the developer to explore and play around with some nifty tools and ideas. A job that does not offer those is not worth a look. You may find me to be too idealistic but all I ask is a chance to show the cool things I can do and how well I can do them. If that is not part of the package, there is no point. Ooh and of course, a cool salary!!! I'll see what turns up on this one.
  

Case 3: ...
And there is everything else that I could do instead. One of those is to actually use the time and complete some very important "stuff" I have started working on with my friend Charl since last year.

There is whole bunch of other things in the "..." category. But just like "stuff", it's all in Ninja Mode and I'd rather not talk about it in this post.

So there we go. I feel much better. I really needed to talk about my preoccupations of the moment. Once again, blogging is has saved the day. Does that mean I will be able to sleep better now? Certainly not. Not until I have a real answer to my questions about what's the future holds...

Hold on! I just thought about something, right now in the middle of the post. One of the items in the "..." category is to take the graduate job offer I got from Accenture Australia a few weeks back through a program for top 15% graduates of my university. It didn't seem too exciting but hey, that's why it is in the "..." category! Right?

I've always had bad sleeping habits anyways, it's not like this is anything new. It's just that it's gotten much worse.

Cheers,

JPGeek.